Why does it appear that some people get everything that they want, and others do not? The reason may be simple. If you ask for what you want, you at least have a fifty percent chance of getting approved. If you never ask, you have a zero chance of succeeding. It all starts with advocating for yourself. Advocate to Win, a new book by Heather Hansen, offers ten tips to advocate for yourself successfully. She garnered these tips over her twenty-year career as a successful trial attorney.

Before implementing the ten self-advocacy tips, we must recognize that we have two juries - an Inner and Outer Jury. The Outer Jury are the external people you wish to influence, as they often hold the power of making the final decisions. The Inner Jury is the part of yourself you need to convince. This is much harder as we often stand in our own way. You cannot advocate until you believe, so influencing your Inner Jury is a critical first step.

There are ten advocacy tools that have helped Hansen win cases in and out of the courtroom.

Elegance

The root of the word elegance is to choose, and the choice is yours. You cannot advocate for yourself until you have clarity on what you want. Once you have clarity on your preference, your Inner Jury can help develop a plan and milestone to reach your goal. Once you know what you want, you are no longer lying to yourself.

Words

When trying to convince yourself to do or avoid something, select your words carefully. Reframe your words so that they can empower you. Choose your words carefully, and do not let them be your downfall.

Perspective

You can change people’s perspectives. People hang on to what they believe is true due to the evidence they have to support it. Show them new evidence, and you can change their perspective. 

Questions

Everyone likes to feel smart, special, and significant. Knowing the answers lets us feel that way. You can control this by being the one who is asking the questions. Ask yourself, How can I see this differently? Answering this will give you a new perspective. 

Credibility

No one will believe you or support what you are advocating for until you believe in it yourself. Do the work to make sure you are hanging on to what you believe. People will support you when they see your passion and become compelled to advocate on your behalf.

Evidence

Look for evidence to support or challenge your claim. It is all around you, but you have

to be open to seeing, collecting, and analyzing the data. Truth is not binary. Most of the time, it is subjective, and that can work in your favor.

Reception

Listen to what people say and do. There is information in what they express as well as what they refrain from sharing. Know the person with whom you are dealing. The better you know them, the better you can interpret what they share and place it into context.

Presentation

Your body language, tone, and facial expressions can influence you and others. Consider which demeanor you have on as you walk into a room. Be aware that you lose awareness of what your body, face, and voice are doing when you are excited, nervous, or aggravated. You may start speaking at a higher pitch and might scrunch your shoulders. People will sense your uneasiness. Consider what you are doing and saying and whether that makes people feel safe around you. 

Negotiation

You are always negotiating, either with yourself or others. Be aware of it, and you will do it better. When negotiating, consider your non-negotiables upfront. That will offer you flexibility within your negotiation. Take carefully timed pauses so as not to rush through the process.

Argument

The argument is your last resort after you have exhausted all of your other advocacy tools. If you argue, you may win the battle but lose the war. Do not take rejection personally, and avoid letting it make you anxious or stressed. 

Now you have the tools to advocate for yourself. Be intrepid enough to go after what you want. As I have previously reported for Forbes, when high achievers are told no, they hear not yet. Advocate to Win offers tools that can help you get from not yet, to yes while doing so with grace and confidence.