Ted Cruz, like Donald Trump and AOC, is an extremely online politician, the kind of guy who spends a considerable amount of time on Twitter bickering with celebrities, most notably, Seth Rogen and Jimmy Kimmel. 

Inspired by their latest Twitter spat, Kimmel dedicated his opening monologue on Tuesday’s edition of Jimmy Kimmel Live! to the man he described as “the Senate’s least-favorite senator.”

Kimmel admitted that he had picked a fight with Cruz, after the Republican senator tweeted a side-by-side comparison of Russian and U.S. military ads, with the former glorifying hypermasculinity, and the latter based on the real-life story of a female soldier raised by two moms. 

Essentially, it’s a retread of the “woke CIA” discourse, in which an inclusive marketing strategy is framed as a national humiliation. 

Cruz captioned the video with, “Perhaps a woke, emasculated military is not the best idea.”

During his monologue, Kimmel pointed out the irony, stating: “I pointed out - fairly, I thought - is funny coming from a guy who let Donald Trump use his testicles on the golf course.”

Kimmel is referring to the fact that Trump publicly mocked Cruz’s wife, Heidi Cruz, by retweeting a meme which insulted her appearance. Despite this, Ted Cruz became a loyal Trump supporter. 

Doubling down on his attack, Kimmel called Cruz “Trump’s Theon Greyjoy,” referring to a memorable Game of Thrones character who was beaten down into a submissive slave, after being tortured and castrated.

To close the fiery Cruz segment, Kimmel mulled over the time he lost a basketball game to Cruz, a victory which Cruz still likes to bring up on Twitter. 

“I brought shame on my family and I embrace it, as I always do,” said Kimmel. “It was a terrible day. I lost a basketball game to a man who ate one of his own boogers during a presidential debate.”

Attempting to outwit professional comedians on a public platform is never a great idea, and Cruz really shouldn’t have targeted a comedian who hosts a popular late night show, and is able to dedicate an entire monologue to their Twitter spats. 

But perhaps Cruz and Kimmel’s tense relationship could eventually soften, despite their ideological differences.

After all, Kimmel was more than happy to have George “weapons of mass destruction” Bush appear on his show, framing the deeply controversial former Republican president as a cutesy grandpa who likes to paint. Perhaps, once the two agree to a ceasefire on Twitter, Cruz could enjoy the same treatment. 

In the meantime, Cruz might be wise to pick up a paintbrush, and start practising.