Each person's relationship to money is unique. It is colored by our history and impacts our financial wellbeing. When we think of money we may think of math equations and logical steps towards achieving wealth. However, financial decisions are often tied to emotional and behavioural responses. As Morgan Housel points out in his book, The Psychology of Money, “In the real world people don’t make financial decisions on a spreadsheet. They make them at the dinner table, or in a meeting room, where personal history, your own unique view of the world, ego, pride, marketing, and odd incentives are scrambled together.” Housel also points out that financial success is not connected to how smart an individual is, but more of a soft skill connected to behavioural patterns. Financial success is a combination of understanding your behaviours with money and creating systems to manage money.

Money is intimately tied to career and life choices. Many people feel a pull between a fulfilling job and a job that brings financial success. Sometimes this entails a choice, sometimes financial success and your job are connected, and sometimes you have to take a well-paying job to support building towards transitioning into your ideal work. However you choose to structure your work, your time in this world is finite and the impact on your well-being should be taken into account. 

Below are a few suggestions that can help you better understand your relationship with money. That way it’s you controlling your money, not your money controlling you:

Get clear on your relationship with money. Understanding the underlying financial ideology that drives your financial decisions gives you the ability to reshape your approach to money. A good place to start is to ask yourself:

What life situations and/or people have influenced your connection to money? 

This could be family members, significant events, friendships, media, partners, or any other circumstances that have impacted your historical background and connection to money. For example, perhaps your father was reckless with money which influenced you to be more careful with your spending or perhaps you were a part of the bitcoin boom which made you feel more abundant with your finances.

Understand the patterns steering how you decide to spend money. Knowing when and how you spend your money can help you make more conscious decisions. Try tracking your spending habits. Some things to pay attention to are:

1. Take an inventory of how you make financial decisions. When do your decisions typically take place? Do other people’s acquisitions influence you? Do you make impulse purchases or do you give careful thought to your expenditures? Do ads sway you to purchase items? 

• Pay attention to where money goes after basic necessities are met. Do you buy new clothing? Do you go out to a nice dinner? Do you put money away in savings? Do you enjoy a weekend getaway?
• Take a look at your spending habits this past month.You can look at your credit card bills to see where your money went and think back to how you came to the conclusion to make a purchase. 

Create a budget. It is important to get clear on your current financial needs and your long term financial goals. This will allow you to shape your life in a more fulfilling way. We all have different relationships with money and different needs. No matter whether you have millions in the bank or are in debt, making a financial plan puts you in control of your money and mitigates rash behavioural decisions. That is why budgeting is essential for living an optimal life. Contrary to what you may think, a budget is not a tight jacket. A budget fosters intention so that your spending reflects your priorities and you can do more of what you want to do. With a plan in place you don’t have to let money issues stand in the way of creating a life you love. Some things to keep in mind when designing your budget are:

1. Are there places where you can spend less money? Such as making coffee at home vs buying coffee at a cafe.
2. Where would you like to allocate more money? Such as buying a house or saving for a trip or starting a business. 

With these tips you can become more empowered with your money and spending habits, giving you greater satisfaction in your life.